When Hugs Are Cringe Worthy
Spring is my favorite season, so I’m in heaven. I love spring breezes and warm sunshine.
Speaking of things that feel good…here’s something that doesn’t:
Hugs that make you cringe.
I hear over and over and over again thoughts like this:
“When he hugs me, I think, ‘Oh, he just wants sex.’”
“She cuddles up next to me and I cringe. I just want to watch TV.”
Isn’t it lovely when physical affection creeps you out? NOT!
Why do we let this happen in our romantic relationship?
Miscommunication?
We make assumptions.
We avoid speaking up.
We try to be “nice” or avoid hurting our partner’s feelings.
Which we can’t do. I promise you that.
You are not responsible for your partner’s feelings. They are, just as you are responsible for yours.
You are not a mind reader. Except for your own mind — you listen to that dialog all day.
What if a hug was just a hug?
You can hug or not. Saying yes to a hug is not consent to sex.
You can say yes or no to anything at any time.
Really. Will it have consequences for the relationship?
Perhaps. But so does cringing away from your partner.
Notice what you’re thinking next time you cringe away from hugs.
There’s self-discovery available to you in that reaction.
