Passion! Overrated?
Think about last weekend. Did you have a lovely, romantic time?
Passion, heat, lots of meaningful eye contact??? Wiggling eyebrows so playfully full of promise?
Er, nope?
Sometimes I think that passion is overrated.
I work with people in every stage of a relationship, from the blush of new love to partnerships that are decades long, each of them questioning the quality and quantity of their intimacy.
It’s not uncommon to hear things like…
“It just felt like there used to be more passion.” or
“I feel like there never was a lot of passion. That was a red flag.” or
“I guess passion goes away when you’re together a long time? Maybe this is normal.”
As if passion indicates a preferred state, at least some of the time.
Why?
I think this is another embedding of the cultural brainwashing about what constitutes a “happy” relationship.
Passion sells movies. Passion gets people tuned in for Netflix and chill.
And, for some people, passion becomes yet another standard against which we or our relationship can never measure up.
Can you have connection and intimacy without passion?
That’s kind of like asking if you can have a rewarding exercise habit without feeling motivation from time to time.
The short answer is: yes.
Because intimacy is a decision.
It’s something you create, not something that happens in or around you. :)
Is passion a necessary ingredient to a satisfying, mature relationship?
Maybe. And maybe not.
It’s entirely up to you.
Explore how you feel about the concept of “passion”. How do you define it? Do you think it’s desirable, neutral, or unnecessary?
And, most important question of all…why do you have those beliefs?
P.S. I have 1-on-1 coaching spots open!! Sign up for a consult if you’re thinking now is the time for learning how to create more intimacy in your relationship, physical or otherwise.
