Mental Health Awareness Month: My Story

Some of the people I work with know about my training and education:

• Trauma Informed training by the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services
• The Life Coach School, certified life coach
• Gottman Method Couples Therapy, completed Level 1, 2 and additional therapy sessions training
• Strengths Strategy certified coach (based on the CliftonStrengths or StrengthsFinder talent assessment)
• Certified People Acuity specialist

But what many people don’t know is my lived experience that serves as a background for my work as a coach.

I first considered suicide when I was in elementary school. Of course, I didn’t tell anyone about this!

Between elementary school and my mid-40s, I was treated by dozens of therapists as I felt near constantly suicidal.

I’ve been on dozens of medications for a handful of diagnoses: depression, anxiety, borderline, bi-polar… The inconsistency of the answer to “What’s wrong with me?” made me feel actually crazy.

I felt helpless.

I’ve gone to the ER and been hospitalized multiple times for panic attacks and suicidal threats.

I struggled in college, needing to get a medical withdrawal more than once.

I avoided choosing careers that might demand too much because I never knew when the darkness would find me.

I was once transported via the backseat of a police car after a very public breakdown.

It was that horrible day that helped me realize I had lost control and needed to try therapy…again. (Even though by this point I wasn’t optimistic!)

I was — miraculously! — connected with a therapist who made all the difference.

I worried that my relationship with my kids was on the line. I told that therapist something I had never, ever told anyone else in my life. (I had so much to lose and nothing left to loose, if that makes sense.)

And, to my shock and relief, she said, “I suspected as much. Now we can get to work.”

I was diagnosed with Complex PTSD.

What?!?

PTSD is for people who have gone to war.

I know now that I had gone through what seemed like war to my developing child mind.

In the 1970s, 80s, and 90s, a diagnosis of PTSD was not considered in many cases.

Having that diagnosis dropped the puzzle pieces into place.

I worked with that therapist for a few extremely productive years.

And — because I love to research — I became obsessed with becoming a walking encyclopedia of PTSD. Learning connects me to my personal power.

I used to think “I can feel my brain healing. I can feel my prefrontal cortex knitting together.”

Now I tell my story like this:

I had an undiagnosed brain disorder that went under-treated for decades.

And then I got better. A lot better.

Now I help others learn tools of self-management as a coach, very commonly in tandem with therapy or other modalities.

Do I still have PTSD? Yes, sometimes I have episodes where I feel suicidal or disassociated.

But those moments are rare these days…and I have a powerhouse of tools available to care for myself when they do.

Collectively, we’re learning:

• How to better diagnose and treat mental illness
• How to create safer environments for people to self-report
• How to create supportive workplaces

The most important thing in the world to me is breaking the cycle.

We can continue educating people about mental health and provide resources and helpful practices.

We can break cycles of abuse.

We can teach kids skills for managing their emotions and make it safe for them to ask for help.

Each person who improves their mental health contributes to healthier families, communities, and workplaces.

It’s my joy, privilege and responsibility to use my own skills and story to contribute to a more emotionally and mentally resilient world.

P.S. Please click here to sign up for my free mini-class “3 Ways to Reduce Stress TODAY!”