Have Sex Because It’s Good For You

Photo by Pedro Lastra on Unsplash

Hello, hot stuff!

It’s summer here in the Northern Hemisphere so I mean “hot stuff” literally!

Why do you want to have more sex?

I hear this so often: “My partner is such a good person so I feel like I should want sex more often.”

But what if your goal was to have lots of sex because it was good for you.

Shocking! Having sex for our own pleasure!

(I’m clutching my pearls in indignant horror!)

We are up to our eyeballs in messages about what we should be.

What we should look like.

What we should sound and smell like.

And what sex should be like.

But what do you want?

For you?

For reals?

Do you like the physical parts of sex? The skin-on-skin, the friction?

If not, why not?

Maybe you have a history with sex not being a good, safe, satisfying part of life.

I get it (and I can help with that — been there, have the trauma informed care certificate to go with it).

Maybe it’s hard to be in the moment because you’re self-conscious.

I get it (and I can help with that — it’s hella hard for some people to relax into uninhibited sex).

Good sex really does start with your attitude about it.

And I see one attitude change is that you can want sex for yourself and still show up sexually for your partner, if you want to.

So, there’s your assignment.

This week, think about why you would choose to have sex for yourself.

What’s on your list?